Ann Arbor, MI – With the holiday weekend off, the Shrimp Fried Rice players demanded a practice to keep themselves from getting rusty. However, due to the 90 degree heat, the players failed to show up, forcing manager Justin Hetherman to retaliate. With only three more games before the playoffs, Hetherman canceled all practices for the remainder of the season. “If those lazy [bleeps] can’t handle a little heat, they don’t deserve my help,” scolded Hetherman. “I wasn’t even going to make them run the gauntlet this week.” The gauntlet, according to former players is an intensive run through two lines of teammates who all whip kickballs at the runner, intended to improve dodge-ability in base-running scenarios.
One of the Shrimp players, when contacted for a comment, explained, “Ninety degrees is just too hot. We should have waited until a couple hours later when it cooled down to 87. We’re just not built to run around in those temperatures.” Another player claimed he’d rather spend the evening at the movies, presumably Twilight: Eclipse, the current number one movie in America.
With Friday’s game the big rivalry against the Kickball Kangaroos, the kickball world will be turned towards the Shrimp Fried Rice dugout to see whether this week’s actions collapse the juggernaut run to the top of the standings through the first half of the season. First pitch is scheduled for 9:15pm at Veterans Park field 3.
It goes further than that … If I can’t practice, I can’t practice. It is as simple as that. It ain’t about that at all. It’s easy to sum it up if you’re just talking about practice. We’re sitting here, and I’m supposed to be the franchise player, and we’re talking about practice. I mean listen, we’re sitting here talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, but we’re talking about practice. Not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game like it’s my last but we’re talking about practice man. How silly is that? … Now I know that I’m supposed to lead by example and all that but I’m not shoving that aside like it don’t mean anything. I know it’s important, I honestly do but we’re talking about practice. We’re talking about practice man. We’re talking about practice. We’re talking about practice. We’re not talking about the game. We’re talking about practice.
Honestly, I fully expected this from McCaman and was somewhat shocked you posted this Eric. However, it was a bunch of people who asked for the practice last week at Dominick’s. I didn’t care if we practiced again. My game is golden without it. I set it up for the rest of you who asked.
Anna and I decided we would do some cross training instead, so we went to the pool and then followed that up with a game of tennis. This really helped as my net play in tennis is similar to my fielding in kickball
also, at least we’re good enough that eric doesnt have to type the jim mora “playoffs” interview