Shrimp Skip Practice, Manager Cancels Rest of Season’s Practices

Ann Arbor, MI – With the holiday weekend off, the Shrimp Fried Rice players demanded a practice to keep themselves from getting rusty.  However, due to the 90 degree heat, the players failed to show up, forcing manager Justin Hetherman to retaliate.  With only three more games before the playoffs, Hetherman canceled all practices for the remainder of the season.  “If those lazy [bleeps] can’t handle a little heat, they don’t deserve my help,” scolded Hetherman.  “I wasn’t even going to make them run the gauntlet this week.”  The gauntlet, according to former players is an intensive run through two lines of teammates who all whip kickballs at the runner, intended to improve dodge-ability in base-running scenarios.

One of the Shrimp players, when contacted for a comment, explained, “Ninety degrees is just too hot.  We should have waited until a couple hours later when it cooled down to 87.  We’re just not built to run around in those temperatures.”  Another player claimed he’d rather spend the evening at the movies, presumably Twilight: Eclipse, the current number one movie in America.

With Friday’s game the big rivalry against the Kickball Kangaroos, the kickball world will be turned towards the Shrimp Fried Rice dugout to see whether this week’s actions collapse the juggernaut run to the top of the standings through the first half of the season.  First pitch is scheduled for 9:15pm at Veterans Park field 3.